BLOGS
We had just finished breakfast and decided to take a hike in the woods on the “West Lake Trail” behind our campsite. Just me and my two youngest boys. As we entered the forest the world around us changed. It was beautiful. The morning sun was shining through the high leafy branches, sending rays of light beaming onto our path and illuminating the greenery around us. Birds were chirping out their morning songs and squirrels scurried around the hilly terrain.
As I watched my sons interact together on that broad trail in front of me, laughing and sharing imaginary stories, my decision was once again confirmed in my heart. I want more of this. I want to share God’s world with them and stand beside them each day in amazement of God’s creation and orderly plan demonstrated over and over in the details of life. I want to teach them how that light pressing through the trees above hits the plants below, initiating photosynthesis so that these plants can grow and produce oxygen. Why? Because that is how God designed it to be on creation day number three. I want to begin with the Creator, Author, and Perfector of life and not allow him to be a post script at the end of their busy days. I want to share truth with them and allow their natural curiosity to bloom and stir in them a love of investigation. I want them to settle for nothing less than absolute truth in life. I want to teach my children to center their lives around God. So I am. It seems like such an obvious decision. God has sovereignly assigned them to me to nurture, discipline and train. He specifically chose me for this position and yet I have sent them to the World for their formal education, assuming we could “add God in” as needed. I haven’t yet found scripture to support God being a side note to real life or an extracurricular activity that is optional. I only see him commanding to be the main focus of every aspect of our lives (see 1 Cor. 10:31 and Col. 3:17). Despite what I have tried to tell myself over the years, I have come to understand that education is never neutral. Jesus himself said in Matthew 12:30, “Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.” There is no hint of neutrality in those words. Public schools have kicked God out and taken their stand with the World. Therefore it follows that the educational system in our country today (not necessarily individuals) is against God and scatters. What do we truly want for our children? My husband and I made ourselves sit down and seriously answer this question. With an eternal perspective firmly in place, we discussed and wrote down what we desired to see in the lives of our boys. There were no sappy answers of just “wanting them to be happy.” God was the focus of every goal we had and this had to change how we moved forward in raising them. Psalm 127:3 and 4 tell us, “Behold children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.” These arrow-children of ours have great purpose. There is a spiritual battle waging whether we see it or not; whether we acknowledge it or not. I want my arrows to be as sharp and as dangerous as they possibly can be. I want them to pierce the Enemy in such a mighty way that he flees in fear, not of them but of what their Maker can do through them. Having been honed for usefulness by years of sharpening and training. The warriors that hold them are their father and I, given a gift laden with responsibility. So I am leaving a position I have loved for ten years to yield to the calling of becoming a metal worker. I have heard myself telling others that this seems crazy, but as I write this today the opposite seems to be so true. It would be crazy to ignore the call and leave these arrows I claim precious to me, to be dulled by worldly ways and teachings. Trying to do quick, hit and miss sharpening in their ever decreasing spare time. If Christ is what life is all about, then Christ is what I will teach. All else pales in comparison to him and yet is only illuminated by his work. There was a bench overlooking the river at the midway point in our trail that day. I asked my sons to sit next to me and we prayed together for God to guide us in this new venture knowing full well, as excited as we are, it will not be an easy path to take. We then walked on, and as I listened to these two brothers sing made up songs trying to make each other laugh, I again stood in amazement of a Creator who would package up such potentially dangerous weapons in such a joyful (although often ornery) way. Not long from now the bowstring will be pulled tight and these “arrows in the hands of a warrior” will be launched forward into a raging battle. I want them ready in every way to serve their King valiantly. Mothers are on my heart this week. I have been praying for and ministering to several moms recently who are struggling in a variety of ways. Grown children, little babies and all ages in between. These children seem to have the strings of our hearts tightly in their fists, pulling and tugging away at us. I want to remind you today that although we love our children very much our hearts still belong fully to God. The strings belong in his hands and we praise him for that; he is still in control!
Below is a Psalm that I shared with one of the mothers and I want to share it with you today as well. I hope it brings you encouragement. If you are struggling and feel as if things are crumbling around you, remember that you are fully secure in the arms of God. He rules the mountains and the oceans; he can certainly rule your heart. Allow him to calm it and be your help. Psalms 46: God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. 5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. 6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. 7 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah 8 Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. 9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. 10 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” 11 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah Even though there may be uncertainty and difficulties surrounding you, you will not be moved out from under his care. If God dwells in the midst of you; you dwell within the fortress of the Almighty. Moms, I enCOURAGE you to find comfort in the steadfast words of God today. It was one of those days… the kind where everything was out of control. The boys were either being wildly excited and loud or fighting like wildcats and even louder. Every inch of progress I would make seemed to get erased within 10 minutes by the two whirlwinds behind me. There was a reason their Grandmother called them Hurricane Peyton and Tornado Troy.
Although “chaos” would have adequately described my kitchen, I had still managed to get a decent supper on the table by the time Phil got home. My dear hubby could sense my mood as he tried to help get the table ready (yes, good Spidey senses do slowly develop as a husband matures, thank you Lord!). He tread lightly around me, trying not to do or say anything that might accidentally spark my shortened fuse. I finally plopped the last dish on the table and sat down in a huff, feeling quite flustered and exhausted from the long day. Phil began to pray and while I breathed in Jesus (recall that blog?) I tried to remind myself that those praying with me at that moment were really gifts from God (wow is he a creative gift-giver, and with a mighty unique sense of humor I might add). As soon as our heads lifted and our eyes cracked open, my youngest, Troy, stood up out of his chair and grabbed a huge forkful of fettucine, dripping with Alfredo sauce. He held it as far above his head as his arm could reach and slowly began to lower the long swaying strands of pasta toward his big mouth, making wild growling sounds like a hungry wolf about to eat his prey. Suddenly the twisted wad of pasta slipped off the end of his fork and smacked him in the center of his face before falling and managing to hit his shirt, the chair and finally the floor. For the first time all day the whole house was silent. Everyone, fully aware of Mom’s strained mood, turned to me in obvious anticipation of what my reaction would be. I could see the fear in their eyes. In my own mind (as we super-powered moms can do) I quickly assessed the fallout this attention-seeking antic would cause: the cleanup of the floor and the chair and the son, the stain removal from the shirt and the added laundry, the cost of the food he just wasted, and how this child obviously needs better discipline! Would this be the final blow that caused me to (justifiably) erupt…??? Ahh… what the heck… I burst out laughing. Seeing that fettucine bop him in the face and the look of surprise in his eyes was too much. It was seriously funny, and I let loose laughing like a crazy woman. After everyone realized I was not going to freak out, they laughed hard too. The laughs continued and from that moment on the whole tone of the evening changed. It was a split second decision to love instead of be angry; to share joy instead of more angst. I don’t always make good choices in moments like this, but this one taught me a good lesson. Sometime you just need to SHOCK your kids with undeserved grace. It helps them and you at the same time. It is a powerful reminder of the utterly undeserved gracious gift of God that we are given in Jesus Christ. What a truly shocking reality that is. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8. The love of our Father God should blow us away. He never runs out and is always generous. We should love others the same way, always being full of grace. “And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” John 1:16. I challenge you to find ways to shock others with this type of grace. The next time someone wrongs you, forgive them right away. When your husband puts his foot in his mouth… again (those Spidey senses don’t always kick in quick enough), don’t pout and act hurt, decide to laugh, roll your eyes and love him anyway. And every once in a while, give those kids a break and shock them with CRAZY grace! When they know they have done wrong or made a bad decision, grab them, hug them, and tell them you love them and forgive them because God has forgiven you for all of the wrong you have done. Let them feel a small portion of the release and freedom that the power of grace provides. When the opportunity arises, I enCOURAGE you to make a split second decision to love. There you have it, my plea and proclamation for this article right in the title. Teach your kids not only to read well, but also to love to read. There are very few skills as vital as this one for their life, and yes, I mean vital. Make it a priority, I'll tell you why.
If you have school aged children or grandchildren you have heard the constant push. While in school, children are required to read every day, there are special “reading events”, and there is state and national testing done to evaluate how they are doing. Despite these efforts children (and adults) still struggle terribly with reading proficiently and many certainly don't enjoy it. You know all of this already; you hear it all school year long. So what is my point? Here is the issue. When someone can’t (or won’t) read, the Devil does a happy dance. He loves the fact that fewer and fewer people are able to read and that most would prefer to pick up a remote control than a book. The last thing they will want to do is pick up a Bible! Why grab a huge book with confusing chapter titles and odd words that could potentially make you feel stupid? The Bible will be seen as an undesirable object to avoid. What a terrible way to think about the Word of God that discloses the path to eternal life. How are they to learn about the about the promises of God, the history of his people, the story of Jesus and what that means for him or her today? How are they to relate to the 119th Psalm of David as he proclaims his love for the word of God with lines like these: “I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” (11) “Give me life according to your word!” (25) “Strengthen me according to your word!” (28) “I hope in your word.” (81) “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (105) “The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.” (130) How will your children see Jesus clearly if their eyes are not enlightened by the word of God? Now parents, no pointing fingers at teachers, the education system or even your own child. The responsibility is squarely on your shoulders (yep, mine too). First learn to accept that fact and then figure out what you are going to do about it. Please don’t wait for the “system” to train your child to love to read. That’s like expecting them to teach them values too. Read to your children and read with your children. Let them see you reading and doing so in your free time (not as an obligation). Many children don't like to read because their parents don't like to read. If this is the issue, time to retrain yourself, get help if you need it. It’s okay if you aren’t a great reader or you are a slow reader. Your children will delight in the effort you are putting forward and will be encouraged themselves to keep reading no matter what. Get excited about reading, visit the library or book store and grab a great classic to dig into together. Visit Narnia with C. S. Lewis, the Shire with Tolkien or travel along with a brave missionary in a foreign land with Benges. Allow each of these to spur conversations about the ultimate story of Jesus Christ found in the ultimate book of all time, the Bible. Then open the Bible together too. If we want our children to know Christ and be fully equipped to serve him, we must train them to be readers. I understand some truly do have limitations, and other sources should be sought out (i.e. audio versions), but the vast majority just need a Bible in hand and be taught how to read it. The Word of God in the hands of a Reader is a mighty weapon. I enCOURAGE you to train your children to wield it with passion. “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9. Last night I sat down at the computer in our office with the lights off and was immediately attacked by a big, ugly moth. Moths will often keep to themselves, but not this one, he wanted to get close and personal. He was in my hair, on my neck, and on my hands and face. Aaagh!! I did the “there’s a bug on me” crazy dance and finally swatted him down. Two thoughts crossed my mind after this. One, I need to get outside in the sun more if I am the brightest thing in a dark room.
Two, how did this big moth get in our house? That was an easy one, I knew the answer. You see, I have two young boys who enjoy running between the indoors and the outdoors and don’t pay the electrical bill. They seem to have something against shutting the front door of our house. Actually come to think of it, we’ve had a few other occurrences too. We’ve had birds fly in on two different occasions … then there was the cat a few years ago… and the neighbor kid, Al (that’s a frequent one)…and one little girl who just appeared in my kitchen one day. Yes, definitely an ongoing problem of not getting our door shut. You never know what (or who) will pop in. As mothers, we desire our homes to be places of safety and comfort. We want to ensure our kids are protected and that we monitor what they have access to, and who has access to them. If our homes are not safe, we are failing at parenting well and we are endangering our children. Many parents will tell you they are vigilant about protecting their children, yet many homes still have huge spiritual safety hazards in them. Many dangers we welcome inside ourselves or even pay large sums of money to have them in our homes. These could be televisions, radios, computers, video games, magazines, books, DVDs, CDs, photographs, the list goes on. None of these are bad in and of themselves, but each has the strong potential to be. A radio is not evil, but if is playing songs with vulgar lyrics it is a pathway for evil to enter into your home and into the hearts of your children. Video games are not evil, some are even educational, but if they promote violent acts and encourage anger they are affecting your child’s character in a sinful direction. Many of these items also have the potential to consume your child’s time and attention away from the priorities we are trying to instill in them of serving God and studying his Word. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:17 “give no opportunity to the devil.” Notice the small but important word “no” there. It doesn’t say that a few R-rated movies now and then won’t hurt them, 60 minutes a day playing that war game on Xbox won’t affect them, or country music isn’t as bad as pop or rap, so go ahead. It says give NO opportunity to the devil! If there are leaks in your home that allow the devil access, deal with them! Don’t shrug your shoulders and hope for the best. Truly love your children by keeping the Enemy who hates them away. He wants nothing more than to lead your child gently by the hand (or eyes, or ears) away from the truth you are teaching from the Bible. James 4:7 says “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” It doesn’t say keep the devil on a manageable leash or just let him take a peek inside your home once in a while for fun and because the neighbors allow it; it says “resist” him! Fight him off and make him run from your home with his tail between his legs. Be a vigilant protector of your children’s hearts by submitting to God. I fully recognize that we need to train our children to live in this dark world and that they will be exposed to these dangers and more in their lives. However, I will not be the one that serves them this evil and acts as if is acceptable when it is not. We don’t train our children to fight evil by exposing them to evil. We fight evil with the truth which is the word of God. That is what they need more exposure to in order to be strong warriors on their own. “I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” – Words of Jesus from John 17:14-17 Are there dangers in your home? Are you leaving a door wide open for the Enemy to walk right inside? I enCOURAGE you to take a hard look around your home today and take a serious look at where the weak spots are. Make your home a place of refuge where God is honored above all else. Full. Always full. The arms of a mother are full of sippy cups, dish rags, toys, laundry, shoes, books, mystery gunk, blankies, sports equipment, groceries, or the kids themselves. Full at any given moment and at any given time.
The rare moments when our arms are free, our minds are full. To do lists run through our heads along with questions like “How can I magically transform a pound of hamburger into a decent supper?”, “Will a few minutes in front of the TV screw up my child?” and “How long until nap time?” Oh the crazy times of mothering! So during these years when your time (and energy) is being taken over by young ones with their demands and needs, are we allowed to take a hiatus from growing in God and being useful for his Kingdom? You know my answer of course… no! For you Moms who find yourself in this season of life, I want to give you three areas of encouragement to hold on to today. 1.) God is with you. “But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.” Psalms 1:2 You may feel many days that “quiet time” with God is impossible. You can’t get away from the demands of your day and those around you to spend 30 minutes in the Word like you feel you should. Good news! God is not only present in quiet times but also in the wild, noisy, and even chaotic times (see Hebrews 13:5)! He is not frightened off by crying babies, grumpy toddlers or moody teens. Praise God for that! God is never far away. When you belong to God, his Holy Spirit dwells within you and will never leave you (read John 14:1-17). Learn to appreciate his presence even when times are wild. Need suggestions? Pray out loud, worship and praise God with singing, grab your Bible in the morning and memorize one line, think on it throughout your day, or listen to the Bible or a sermon online. Susanna Wesley (mother of John and Charles Wesley) was a mother of 10 children yet she spent two hours a day in prayer. How? By flipping her apron up over her head. She told the children that when they saw her apron up she was in prayer and not to be bothered. She could not remove herself from her duties but she could still focus on God. 2.) God is growing you. “He is like a tree planted by streams of water…” Psalms 1:3a Trees are one of God’s amazing creations. You can’t see them growing but they are. Over time, if they get all the water and nutrients they need, they become tall, full and beautiful. That is what God does in your heart during the years of motherhood if you are his. He grows you little bits at a time over many years (“from one degree of glory to another” 2 Cor. 3:18). You won’t realize all he has done until you look back and see the changes yourself. God is amazingly gracious to us and he values us far more than trees. Too many moms make the mistake of thinking that their purpose in motherhood is to produce godly children. That is a great goal, but only God produces anything godly. God’s purpose for you in motherhood is to produce a godly woman. He allows you to experience so much during motherhood to mature you in him. Does this mean that God allows sickness, disabilities, and defiance in our children to grow us toward him? Absolutely! Is God behind the sleepless nights, skinned knees, and picky eaters? If you believe in the sovereignty of God he is! Things we often see as “interruptions” in our days (or nights) are often God taking the time to teach us and asking us to grow our roots deeper in him (our source of living water). 3.) God is what it’s all about. “…that yields its fruit in season, and its leaf does not wither.” Psalms 1:3b We are creations of the Master Gardener, made to magnify his greatness. It is to this end we live, breath and raise others to do the same. Make no mistake; this life is not about you. Rejoice in that fact, if it was, we would be sorely disappointed. God has filled your arms to overflowing so that your hearts could also be filled to overflowing with all his goodness, mercies and love. He continues to prune and fashion you into the masterpiece he desires you to be and one that will reflect him beautifully. Trust God in this. Mothers, today whether you find your arms full of sweet cuddles or a battle of wills, know that God has great purpose for each of these moments. After all…he has you in his arms. Get rid of your stuff… end of class. Go get rid of everything you have that you don’t need and only keep what you need to. After that very little organization is needed because there won’t be much to organize. No need to buy pretty boxes, bags, or closet systems. No need to rent a storage unit or to even have a large house. No more stress because of all the clutter and piles lying around the house. No more weekends spent dusting, cleaning out the garage or polishing your toys. Without all your stuff you will have time to spare!
As I give out this advice I sit in my office surrounded by lots of stuff I could easily live without. This room is surrounded by other rooms full of items I could live without, the garage is full too. I’ve never been one to hold on to too much but I still find myself spending time on my possessions. I spend time buying, sorting, moving, arranging, and cleaning my stuff. I spend time working for money to buy more stuff to waste my time on. What an insane cycle to live in. I am realizing that more stuff = more stress. The Bible confirms this, in 1 Timothy 6:10 it says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” (Emphasis mine) Loving money (or what money can buy) is the root, or beginning, of all kinds of evils (covetousness, pride, greed). This craving for more leads us to pierce ourselves with many pangs. This desire for stuff truly hurts us! Also notice the strong pull materialism can have on a person; it even causes some to wander away from the faith. It is very hard to resist, but that is exactly what we are called to do. In 1 John 2:15 it says “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” This verse tells us not to love “the things in the world”. Do you love your possessions? Do you love your pretty bedspread, do you love your 401k, do you love your new shoes, do you love your nice green lawn, do you love your jewelry? If we love our possessions which are part of the world this shows a huge heart issue. I don’t mean that if you have a nice pair of shoes or some jewelry that your heart is in the wrong place, but it could be. If you find yourself striving after items like this or finding ways to accumulate more items to treasure, you need to do a serious heart check…and fast. A heart aligned with the world is a heart against God, literally an enemy of God. This may seem harsh, but these are not just my words. Check out James 4:4, “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” Like I said this is serious. We want our hearts to be aligned with God not the world. What we treasure and hold dear displays what is in our hearts. What is your heart clinging to? Mothers, be an example for your children. Teach them at a young age to hold on very lightly to the things of this world. Teach them how to be givers and to bless others instead. Instruct them on the difference between what is eternal (God’s Kingdom, God’s Word, Christian relationships, work done for Christ, time spent with God) and what is truly dust (everything tangible). They are watching you closely so be aware of what you are spending your time on too. Is shopping a hobby? Do you often admire and value objects? Are you being generous in blessing others? What are your reasons for working? What are the future aspirations of your family? Are you planning for a vacation, a hot tub, or an awesome way to bless others for God’s Kingdom? The only proper place to store your treasures is Heaven. Matthew 6:19-21, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Ladies, it’s time we cut our tethers to this world. We need to keep our eyes focused on eternity and not the dust all around us. Our current surroundings are so very temporary; don’t get distracted by the pull of fake joy found in objects. Release yourself to fully experience the true freedom only found in Christ. I have had the opportunity to talk to several mothers one on one lately and in each conversation there seemed to be a common thread. It had to do with feeling the weight of responsibility for their children. Whether it be in their child’s decisions, actions or even appearances. One mother worried about how her actions today would affect her young children in years to come, another mother worried that her children were gaining too much weight and how that would reflect on her parenting, and still another mother worried about the decisions that her adult son was making and how it would affect his future.
As each of these mothers shared with me, I could feel the burden they were carrying; it was heavy. I understand this burden well; I have carried it many times myself. Mothers of all ages and stages feel this burden no matter how old their children are. We feel responsible for how our children behave, how they respond to others, and how they perform in life. We take the full credit when they do good and even more so when they do poorly. Mothers, my advice to you today… lay the burden down. It is not yours to carry. Oh yes, we need to “Train up a child in the way he should go” as it says in Proverbs 22:6. And “… do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” as in Ephesians 6:4. Absolutely, God has given us the responsibility of raising these specific children. He has put them under our charge and into our care. That is a great responsibility that we need to take very seriously. However, the RESULTS are not on our shoulders. The results are God’s alone. God has a specific plan and path through life for your child to follow. Jeremiah 29:11, “ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.” No one can change God’s plans or put their child on what we feel to be a more “appropriate” path to follow (or a more socially acceptable one). Remember God has already written out your child’s entire life for eternity and he knows what is truly best for your child. Plus, (brace yourself for this one)…God loves your child MORE than you do (see Romans 5:8 and 8:38-39). I remind my children of this often. Do you think that this would confuse them or worry them? No way, they know how much I love them and for them to know that the Almighty Creator loves them even more – how awesome! It is wonderful that they (and we) can rest in the assurance that God loves them and is in charge of their everyday life and their futures. To assume that we are to take the credit when our children excel or the blame when our children experience a failure is putting ourselves in the place of God in their lives. That is not where we are supposed to be, he alone can be King. We can teach them to eat healthy and engage in physical activities with them, but God determines their body type and what he wants them to look like. We can set boundaries and provide godly discipline as they grow, but we are not responsible for every bad (or good) decision they make when they are grown. I realize that it is no easy task to let go of this burden of how our children “turn out”. We cling to it like it is a part of who we are, but it’s not meant to be that way. So take a deep breath and release it to God. Take reassurance that God welcomes your burdens and instructs us to give them to him: “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalms 55:22 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 Keep your focus on raising your children to love Christ and his powerful Word. Guide them with godly discipline and train them up in the way they should go, but understand, their final destination and how they get there is up to God. |
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