BLOGS
I was at a summer party at friend’s home several years ago and a group of us were sitting out on their screened in deck. One of the ladies tripped on the threshold as she walked through the doorway to join us. She looked at the host and told him that he really needed to get that fixed. His response? With a big smile on his face he said loudly, “I LOVE my wife!!” There were looks of confusion so he continued, “She has walked through that same doorway hundreds of times and has never once complained. She is so low maintenance, I love her!”
The comment has obviously stuck with me and has caused me to stop and think several times in my life… am I low maintenance? Uhh…sometimes? I have to say, I am waaaay lower maintenance than I started out 14 years ago and that has to count for something, right? Are you low maintenance? Now, I’m not talking about how long it takes to do your hair and make-up or if you have high fashion standards. That is not my concern today. Are you easy to live with? Is life with you a pleasure or a pain? These questions may help: Do you fly off the handle if a negative comment is made? Do you wait for compliments and then feel hurt if they do not come? Are you constantly feeling as if your expectations are not met? Do you find yourself unhappy more often than happy? Are home improvements too often your topic of conversation? Does your husband accuse you of nagging? Do you have a “to do list” for your husband that is never done? Now don’t think that you should never make a list for your husband, talk about home improvements or ask him to pick up his laundry (my goodness, what would we talk about?). But if you are always needy or have a constant stream of demands coming from your mouth, there is an issue (and a weary husband). If your husband thinks you are never satisfied with him, he will feel like a failure. How will he tend to react when your mouth begins to open? Cringe, avoidance and defensiveness. The Bible does not ignore this topic. Solomon speaks to it in Proverbs, and Solomon should know. He had hundreds of wives (this was terrible disobedience on his part and led in part to the deterioration of Israel through idol worship and the splitting of the kingdom. Not cool, Solomon). However check out what he gleaned from his many years of experience: “…a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.” – Proverbs 19:13 “A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike.” – Proverbs 27:15 Ouch. If those hurt check out this one: “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” – Proverbs 21:9 A never-satisfied wife who is eager to argue makes life miserable. It would be better for a man to live on the roof and be exposed to the elements rather than be exposed to his wife’s tongue in a comfortable home. I do not want to be the woman described in those verses! Aside from how it makes our husbands feel, this type of behavior dishonors God and is unbecoming of his daughters. We cannot serve our husbands and encourage them to be godly men by beating them with our tongues. So, if you were like me when I first got married and keeping your mouth shut at the littlest infraction does not come easy, you need to do some intentional work towards becoming low maintenance (i.e. a gracious and kind wife that is a joy to live with). Pray and ask God to work in your heart. Realize if you are being too demanding and ask God to change your attitude and perceptions. Talk to your husband and ask for forgiveness if you need to. Tell him you will be trying your best to not pelt him with demands and requests. Kindly make your desires known (men are still not mind readers) but refuse to nag or be pushy. The key word to remember here is GRACE! Be like Jesus and give it freely. “And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” John 1:16. Give your husband loads of it and kindly ask for it in return when you know you have messed up. Jesus is your source, so be in the Word daily. For all you newbies out there, take comfort - it does get easier! As time passes, you begin to realize what is worth bringing up and what just really doesn’t matter in the eternal scheme of things. Always take the long view of life, gaze into eternity. Dirty clothes on the floor will not matter one iota when we meet Jesus - I certainly don’t plan to bring it up to him that day. Ladies, let’s refuse to be drips any longer and instead be a pipeline of God’s awesome grace. Cause your husband to praise God for you! Ladies, the world we live in has sold us a bundle of lies about our gender and what constitutes strength. I for one am sick of it.
In my younger years I bought into all of it so quickly I am embarrassed. Not even thinking to check it against what God has to say. I was a smart woman; I thought I knew what it meant to be strong. I really had no clue. When a woman was cheated on by her husband I would side with the throng shouting, “Leave that unfaithful jerk! You don’t deserve that. Move on and make him sorry. The children will get over it, they are better off without him.” That is how I felt until meeting a woman who became like a mentor to me about 12 years ago. I admired her so much; she sang the praises of Jesus Christ and of her husband too. I longed to be that in love with my husband. After knowing her for about a year, she told me their story. A story of shocking infidelity and even more shocking reconciliation. A story of staying and not leaving, a story of a couple renewed and redeemed by the power of Christ alone. A victory story ordained by God. Since that time I have walked with others who have gone through that same type of pain and have chosen to stay. I watched as God turned their anger into a passion to not allow Satan the win; watched their drive to serve God over serving their flesh and their desire to just run. I saw peace restored, husbands repenting, marriages now not just restored but soaring all for the glory of God. Now I know I have witnessed the true strength of a woman. Not so many years ago, my mental picture of a strong woman was one with ambition, who had a successful career and took care of her family. Someone who had it all together and worked hard to accomplish her dreams. Now having walked with women who struggle with anxiety, wrestle with depression, and deal with chronic pain, I see real strength. These same women call on God for help, trusting in him to carry them on. They pick themselves up and walk out their doors to face a harsh world that they don’t seem to fit into. Despite the Enemy’s attacks, they keep getting back up and loving on others. They worship with passion and praise with joy. Doing battle bravely with the sword of God’s Word. I used to think being a submissive wife was a joke. Offensive oppression and disturbing old church ways. Until I read how the Savior was crushed and hung on wood because he was submitting to his Father’s will…in order to save me…un-submissive and selfish me. Until I saw submission modeled out for me in relationships with such beauty that I can no longer argue against its purpose, command or its effectiveness. I now see how brilliantly marriages dance and thrive when strong women allow their partner to lead. She is his equal yet has different steps to tread with a beauty all her own. A beauty modeled after Christ and the Holy Spirit. Glorious and strong submission. The career woman can be a strong woman in Christ, but she is also the woman who gives up her worldly status to stay home and raise her children. She is the one who stands up and says “No!” to the teaching of the world when everyone else is saying, “Okay, I guess, whatever.” She is the one who picks up her Bible to read instead of the latest trend novel. She is the one loving the unlovable and forgiving the unforgivable. She cherishes her God-given gender and the beauty of its purpose. She is the one who chooses life instead of convenient murder. She is the one who works hard at pleasing her Lord even if that displeases the world around her. The strong woman trusts in her God who tells her, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10. Ladies, don’t eat up the lies the world is trying to push down your throat. You know deep in your heart that God’s way always has been and always will be the best way. His opinion is the only one that matters. Show true strength in this world; admire true strength in this world. Be determined to walk that narrow path of truth while others carouse down easy street. If you have been living with a misunderstanding of strength, time to take a stand and get it right. Hear God’s word today and let this be your prayer right now: “For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God. Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.” Psalm 86:10-12. Ladies, it is high time I introduce you to my grandma June, my mother’s mother to be exact. There is so much I want to tell you about her as she was quite the lady. I hope you enjoy getting to know her as I write about her this month and how she lived out her love for Jesus.
I think of my grandma June when I read what Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 1:5, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure dwells in you as well.” Grandma June is my Lois so to speak and I see the linking of faith through our generations. Faith in Christ cannot be inherited like blue eyes or big noses, but it sure can be taught and witnessed as it is lived out. Let me draw you a quick picture of my grandma June to help you better understand her. Grandma June grew up in poverty with many brothers and sisters during the years of the Great Depression. I remember stories of eating orange peels that were thrown out as trash alongside the roadside. Her first husband fought in WWII and came home a different man. He had met someone else and left June on her own with three young children to raise. She worked hard as a nurse at the Veterans Hospital to support them. Grandma June as I knew her was short and plump and fashion was way low on her priority list. She was not a delicate flower and if I called her that she would laugh at me. She loved family and telling stories and had an ornery streak about her. Grandma June gave big, tight, busty hugs and talked of smothering when it was hot out (they had no AC). She canned a lot, was thrifty and loved to give tube socks as Christmas gifts (oh so many years of tube socks!). She made pies better and faster than anyone I have ever known. She had a big garden and grew… so… many… tomatoes. She carried a huge purse that weighed more than I did and she kept large quantities of tissues in her bra for whenever she or anyone else might need one. My grandma lived through many trying years; you may think she would be a little bitter or even angry. Yet, she was quite the opposite. Grandma June was full of the joy of the Lord. I have never seen someone so in love with Jesus as that woman. She lived out Nehemiah 8:10, “And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” She would often suddenly break into singing hymns, all of which she knew by heart. Or she would out of nowhere begin to recite memorized portions of scripture. Sometimes I would just hear her utter the name of Jesus over and over as she thought on him. It was obvious that during her years of struggle she had learned to hold fast to God and to trust in him to take care of her. Her smile was never just a smile, it was a barely contained laugh ready to burst out. To know June was to know the joy of Christ. She hid nothing about her relationship with Jesus and told others about him as often as she could and as much as they allowed her to. She prayed for those in need and shared the burdens of others. Wow, how she prayed. “Glamorous” would not describe Grandma June as you can clearly see from what I have shared, but she was certainly glorious to me. The treasure of Jesus shined out of her like no one else I have ever known. She was a living example of Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” And one of my favorites, 2 Corinthians 4:7, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” Grandma June was not concerned with appearances, fashion or staying ahead of the crowd, she would gladly boast of her weaknesses if Christ could shine through them. In this modern society, even today’s modern church, we often confuse glamour for glory. We gladly assume the appearance of knowledge of Jesus instead of the glory of living a life sold out and madly in love with him. Don’t shoot for your religion to be socially acceptable or comfortable for others. Aim to passionately serve the Lord whole heartedly no matter what that looks like. Grandma June left a legacy of faith behind for her family to remember. Do the same in your life, teach future generations to love and follow the Lord. Teach them by living it out yourself. Here is a confession: for years I had a love/hate relationship with the Proverbs 31 woman. Can you relate? The women I have talked to lately can. Have you read about her? If not, read it now before you read the rest of this. You can find her in Proverbs 31:10-31. She is the “Excellent Wife” that king Solomon (King Lemuel) wrote about.
She has long been taught and preached as the ideal woman. I never really had a problem with this when I was a young. I had no doubts that I would be just like her; I planned on being the perfect wife and mother. Then I grew up…and life with a husband and kids was harder than I thought it would be. “Perfect” went out the window and was replaced with words like “adequate” and “survival”. I admit that I was beginning to feel some resentment towards this lady. I didn’t want to read that chapter anymore. Here are a few of her qualities: “The heart of her husband trusts in her.” (11) Sometimes when I share ideas with Phil, he gives me a look like I am crazy. I’m not sure I instill much confidence. “She seeks wool and flax.” (13) I know what wool is, but flax? It certainly doesn’t sound very comfortable. “She brings her food from afar.” (14) Brother’s Market is less than a mile away from my house, but much of the produce is from out of the country. Maybe that counts? But it’s probably covered in pesticides and wax. Don’t get me started on the preservatives I feed my family. “She rises while it is still night” (15) “her lamp does not go out at night.” (18) This lady never sleeps, how do you compete with that? “She considers a field and buys it.” (16) I have never bought real estate…on my own…ever. “She makes bed coverings for herself” (22) “She makes linen garments.” (24) I don’t sew very well and I don’t think my family would appreciate having to wear whatever it is I would make them. “Her children rise up and call her blessed.” (28) I have to remind my kids to say, “please” and “thank you”. This certainly won’t happen if I make them wear garments I’ve sewn myself out of flax after not sleeping. I always wished there was a Proverbs 32 woman; an addendum written for those who couldn’t quite live up to the lady in chapter 31. It would include phrases like, “She tries hard” and “She makes great brownies” and “She even plays Monopoly with her kids when she doesn’t feel like it.” Those I could handle. Obviously, I jest. Yet crazy things like this would run through my mind when reading the chapter. I thought this woman was just another glossy magazine model I could never dream of being. So why is the Proverbs 31 woman in the Bible? Would God, who loves me, put something in the Bible just to make me feel bad? Part of the answer lies in that question - God loves me! He included these verses in the Bible for a reason and (as everything in the Bible) it is for my good. I believe that about the rest of Scripture so I can’t exclude these verses from that same reasoning. When I got my perspective corrected I began to see things a little more clearly. The Bible is full of statements such as is found in 1 Peter 1:16, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” and Matthew 5:48, “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” God expects perfection and will never lessen his standards to accommodate us. This should not surprise us or discourage us, quite the opposite really. What kind of God would hold to low standards and accept anything less than perfection? No God I would want to serve. I want a perfect God in every way; otherwise he would not be fit to govern this universe. We don’t take up issue when we are told to be like Jesus, yet it is one and the same calling as the Proverbs 31 woman. This woman never existed in real life; Jesus is the only perfect human who has ever walked the earth. Yet she is the epitome of perfection in godly womanhood. Proverbs 31 is a masterfully written prose from a loving Father who is graciously setting out standards for his beloved daughters. This ideal of a godly woman is a gift to us, letting us know what to aspire to and a tool for prioritizing our lives appropriately. So how are we to be perfect? The simple answer is we can’t be. But, praise God for Jesus! His perfect sacrifice was sufficient to cover all of our failings. Because of him, we can stand in the presence of God someday, with his righteousness in place of our own. We become more like this ideal woman when the Holy Spirit inside of us enables us to be more like Christ. This does not happen under our own power or by us striving for perfection in our own power, only through dependence on him. I no longer have issues with this woman in Proverbs 31. Reading about her now reminds me of God’s extravagant love for me. I get a glimpse of what I can be when empowered by the Holy Spirit. It is through Christ that I can be found to be worth “far more than jewels.” I enCOURAGE you to read Proverbs 31 with this new perspective today. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 Do you love your children? The answer is not as obvious as you might think. Sometimes we have great emotions and tender thoughts toward our children, but is that really love?
In Titus 2:3-5 Paul gives a significant list of what the older women of the Church should be teaching the younger women. Included in this list is the command to teach the young women to love their children:
It may seem odd that someone would need to teach us to love our own children; doesn’t that come “naturally” the moment they are placed in your arms after birth? Well, in some ways, yes it does. In other (very significant) ways we really need to be reminded what it means to truly love our children - thus the command in Titus 2. Loving our children can mean cuddles and words of encouragement. It can also mean discipline and allowing pain to occur. It can mean giving or withholding; gentleness or a hard line. All of these can be expressions of love from a parent to a child. What is the single most important way to love your child? Tell them about Jesus. Tell them about who love is and why there can be no love without Jesus. Read through the book of 1 John with them, especially Chapter 4, which contains lines like:
If you hate your children, then withhold this from them. And understand if you do this, you cannot love them, it is impossible. Only those who actually love their children will introduce them to Christ. “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8. With this knowledge we should SHOWER our children with true love; sharing with them the knowledge of who God is. Love them as much as possible by teaching them more about him and reading his Word to them. Train them up in love to love him who is Love. No material gift, “quality time”, or spoiling holds a candle to the eternal significance of this vital information. Do not withhold it, lavish it on them as the Father has on us “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” 1 John 3:1. If your heart has been claimed by God, this is pure and simple obedience:
Soak your children (and all children you love) in experiencing and learning God’s designs, plans, promises, commands, and his justice, grace and mercy. Teach these attributes diligently to your children as commanded. There is nothing greater! Mothers, I enCOURAGE you to LOVE your children! I was recently talking with the group from our church that will soon be in Guatemala for a mission trip. I was discussing proper dress code while there. I informed them that we could not wear any inappropriate clothing: nothing too short, too low, too thin or too tight. I also asked them not to wear excessive jewelry or make-up.
After this meeting, I started thinking how strange it was that this issue of modesty needed to be addressed at all. As committed Christians, shouldn’t this be the norm for us every day? We will be representing Christ to others in Guatemala, yet aren’t we always representing Christ? What an eye opener for me in how I dress for Christ in my day to day life. As Christian women do we need to be so concerned about how we dress? Is it really that important? Let’s check the Word: “Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” – 1 Timothy 2:9-10 The answer is yes, we need to dress ourselves in respectable apparel with modesty and self-control. Why? We need to remember our purpose here on Earth, why God continues to allow us to breathe. We were created by him and for him (Colossians 1:16) and all we do needs to be done for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). This includes how we dress. We should dress in a way that pleases God and reflects his goodness. Here are the hard questions to ask yourself: Do you dress for your own glory or for the glory of God? Does what you wear distract from the gospel purposes in your life? Does it distract others from the gospel purposes in their life (causing lust, envy, confusion, etc.)? If you dress to illicit attention or approval from others, you are what Carolyn Mahaney calls a “glory thief” in her book, True Beauty. We are stealing glory from God; we are desiring it more for ourselves than for him. These are strong words, but they hit the mark - I certainly do not want to be a glory thief! So, what are the limits, just where is that line that we should not cross in how we dress? Ladies, don’t give me this. The rule is not to play with the line, but to stay away from it. I believe we women are very aware of what is acceptable and what is not. We know when we are wearing something that accentuates and draws attention to certain areas. I’m telling you (and me) to knock it off. If you stand in a mirror before leaving the house and feel sexy, time to change. Sexy stays home with your husband. Listen carefully, the opposite of “modesty” is not “beautiful” or even “stylish”. The opposite of modesty is immodesty which is direct sin. If you don’t like modesty it means you prefer sin and that is living in opposition to God. Whoa, more tough stuff! Yep, sure is. God takes what we do with our bodies very seriously: “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Our bodies are not our own, they were bought with the blood of Jesus Christ. Our bodies are to be used to glorify God and not ourselves. Beautiful modesty is in no way an oxymoron. You cannot be beautiful unless you are modest. You must possess a godly modesty that flows from your love of pleasing God through obedience to him in your outward appearance. Beauty is a radiance from the inside to the outside. This begs the questions: how then should we adorn ourselves? How are we to be beautiful? Is it even okay to be beautiful? So glad you asked! Our gracious God does not leave us without help in this important area. One week from today, I will answer these very questions. I enCOURAGE you to take this seriously. Train yourself and teach your daughters to be beautifully modest for the glory of God. I have had the privilege of watching several Christian women flourish and grow in their depth of knowledge of Christ over the past several months. This brings great joy to my heart and I get excited every time I see new evidence of it in their lives.
I have been struck over and over in my Bible reading lately just how serious God takes the spiritual growth of his children. God doesn’t just want more children, he wants wise and mature adult children. From the moment we first accept Jesus as our savior, we begin our journey toward maturity. We must learn and grow from that point forward, never letting up. Ephesians 4:14-15 states that God desires that we “…no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” Remaining spiritually superficial makes us easy prey for our Enemy and causes us to get tossed around by any trial or persecution that comes along. It’s like being a young tree with very shallow roots, easily blown over. This is not God’s desire for you and you are being disobedient to his commands. True spiritual maturity is learning to walk in obedience to God’s Word. Continually conforming your life to the life of Jesus as taught in Scripture. This is a daily task and takes intentional, ongoing effort. This is the life of a true Christian. We should never get to a point in our relationship with Christ when we feel completely satisfied. We shouldn’t get comfortable with our current routine of religious activities. If this is you, you likely have a serious problem on your hands. If we are growing in Christ we will be in a continual state of wanting more: more wisdom, more knowledge, more understanding of who Christ is and how that affects our lives. If you are comfortable with how much Jesus you have in your life, if it is “just enough” then you have officially boxed him up and put him on a shelf. Stagnation has come and decay is soon to follow. What does perfect maturity look like? Jesus. As we grow in faith, we will look more and more like Jesus. We will be doing what Jesus did: spreading the gospel, making disciples and teaching them to grow into maturity. Sound familiar? Look up Matthew 28:19 and 20, these are Jesus’ final instructions to his disciples. Women, this is not an easy task and often it can be painful. As we mature we will push harder and harder against a world trying to shove us in the opposite direction. We must keep pushing! Press on and strain forward like instructed in Philippians chapter 3. This may mean staying home to raise your children when the world is telling you to stop being lazy and get to work. This may mean selling everything you have and moving to Haiti to be a missionary instead of chasing the false idol of the “American dream”. This may mean beginning full time ministry work in your golden years instead of retiring to play golf and travel. It means being a true “living sacrifice”, Romans 12:1. Paul demanded maturity in the churches he oversaw (see 1 Timothy and Titus) and prayed earnestly for it in believers. One example is found in Colossians 1:9-10, “And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.” How often do you pray for your fellow Sisters in Christ to grow in spiritual maturity? I enCOURAGE you to start today. We need to spur one another on in this growth and hold each other accountable to what our life’s actions are displaying. Let me take this moment to remind you that this blog is for women. Therefore this title and blog does not apply to men. So men, no need to keep reading unless you plan to pass this article on to the lady in your life. Also, don’t forget to encourage her to find other Christian women friends and provide the time for her to do so.
With that out of the way, let’s get started. Girl…you need friends. Sure, you are tough and could make it in this life all on your own, but let’s be real… having friends makes life so much more fun! Plus, God made you a relational being; he wants you to walk life’s path with others and to encourage one another. I want you to look at a few verses that address friendship with me today; they are written by Solomon and found in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. A friend can lift you up when you fall, keep you warm when times get tough, and stand by your side as you protect each other. Those facts alone are great, but I want you to see two more important points in these verses today. 1. – “they have a good reward for their toil” – The “good reward” is the benefits of friendship, but to gain these benefits you must toil. You have to work at it. The first work that must be done is to gain good friendships. Have you ever been at this starting point in life? I sure have. There have been times in my life where I have felt desperate for friendship (see my blog from four weeks ago, “I Know Lonely”). I had feelings of isolation and loneliness. I assumed everyone else had loads of friends and I was simply an odd ball. Ever felt that way? You are not alone; MANY women have experienced this in life. Maybe you are feeling this right now. So what do you do about it? Here is where the toil comes in… Remember these three things: get out, open up and pray. Get out and meet others as much as you are able to. Attend Bible studies, church social events, and invite others into your home. Open up, be real and let others get to know you. I sat next to a woman at a mother’s club one time; the first thing she told me was that she was there to find good Christian friends. I loved her boldness! And she accomplished her goal. Don’t underestimate the power of being direct and courageous. Finally pray to God and let him hear your heart’s desire to find true blue friendship. He knows you need it and he will provide it at the right time. 2. – “a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” – Where did this third cord come from? All the previous verses talked only about two people (two cords). Who is this third person? Well, who makes a friendship strong? God. Now, here is your warning, here comes some hard truth… no true friendship can exist outside of God. You cannot be a good friend to someone else if you have not received Christ yourself. The reverse is also true; someone cannot be a good friend to you unless they also have Christ. You can have many friends that are not Christians (and I do), but they cannot be good friends to you. A good friend has to tell you hard truths (no, you shouldn’t leave your husband because you don’t love him anymore). A good friend has to point you to Jesus when you are struggling (what does the Bible say about your situation, what would Jesus want you to do?). God must be woven throughout your friendship and, as always, he is the purpose of the relationship. Your friendship needs to honor him. There is a strong bond between godly women who are friends, it’s called Sisterhood. It provides a deeper sense of love and understanding that only God can produce in us. It is a true blessing and I desire it for all women, including YOU. Take courage today, step out in faith and find your sisters in Christ! Yep, I called that “s” word beautiful. That’s how I see it. Well…now anyway. I’m finally starting to get it. There were many years when that word would come up in a sermon like in Ephesians 5:24, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands,” I could feel my eyes rolling back in my head and the curtain would fall. No need to listen to rest of what the minister was going to say, I wasn’t interested.
It took a few years of growing in faith until I accepted that it was scripture from God and therefore true and valuable. However, even after a few years into our marriage, I didn’t put it into practice. It just didn’t seem practical, especially when my husband could be a total dope at times. Seems fair, right? I will submit to him when he shapes up and loves me like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), otherwise the deal is off. Oh my…thank you God for being so patient with me. So how did I come to see beauty in submission instead of feeling it was an insult? I finally got my sight fixed. Instead of seeing these verses as a service to my husband alone, I realized it was my service to Christ. Phil was not calling me to submit, Jesus was. Why? Because he loves me like crazy and has plans to use our marriage in awesome ways if it is built up correctly. The more I get to know my Savior, the more I want to please and serve him. And, yes, I have discovered through trial and error (lots of error) that His way is ALWAYS best, no exceptions. We need to get things straight, Ladies. If you think submission = weakness, inferiority, or conformity against better judgment you are sorely ignorant just like I was. Would you use these same qualities to describe Jesus? I don’t think so, probably just the opposite. In fact, Jesus is our perfect example of submission. Jesus is God and therefore equal to God yet he was called to submission to fulfill his role in God’s plan. John 6:38 “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.” Jesus submitted to his Father God, even unto death. Matthew 26: 39, “And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.’” You can see that we as wives have been called to a very noble role indeed. One that Jesus powerfully undertook willingly. Yes, our husbands also model a role of Jesus through authority and leadership. That is the role they have been called to in service. We have separate but equal roles, Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” So get that sense of inferiority out of your head right now (haven’t you read about the Proverbs 31 woman?). As wives we have the authority and responsibility to share our wisdom, and provide discernment and input to our husbands as they make decisions, but they have the task of making the final call. They will not always choose right, but this does not relieve us of our calling from Christ. No, we should never follow our husbands into sin; God is still our absolute authority. However, we will not always agree on decisions made. This is a great time to use the dynamic power of submission to influence our husbands toward Christ. Pray for them, love them and serve them in a Christ-like fashion. You will be amazed at the changes these alone can bring about. Take back what the Enemy is trying to steal from you in your marriage relationship. Don’t let the world twist the beauty that God has ordained. Submission holds incredible power and has life changing abilities when put into proper practice. It is a powerful position that God has placed his daughters in. Claim it as yours and wield it with style and passion. Ladies, do you ever wonder what your husband would be like without you? Yes, he would probably survive but would he thrive like he does with you by his side? Do you make him better with how you treat him? Do the words you say to him cause him to want to lead better, to be more like Jesus for his family? These are some tough questions but good measures for how we are performing our role. They also show the potency of our gifts as helpers in marriage. Are you a help to your husband, do you add honor to his life… or take it away? God created man in such a way that he is better when woman is there by his side helping him as no one else can. I encourage you to be that wife that proudly comes up beside your man and uses your God given gifts together to glorify your Creator. |
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