Hello, my name is Jesicah, and I am a recovering…

The idea of control is such a funny thing.  I, myself am a recovering control freak.  I never knew I was a control freak until talking with my sister one day.  She was telling me how she was one.  Everything she described herself as described me to the letter.  What a shock!  Me, a control freak??  Couldn’t be.  I started to watch how I went about things and how I treated my kids and husband.  I started to hear myself saying things like, “No, Phil you can’t wear that tacky shirt, it clashes with my red one!”   “Boys, don’t squeeze the ketchup bottle like that, do it this way!”  “Honey, you need to pray less like a robot.”  “We can’t eat tator tots for breakfast.”  Yep, the list goes on and on.  I was a control freak and didn’t know it.  Once I admitted it, I did feel better; everyone else around me said they already knew.

I said control is a funny thing and here is why… I have none.  And neither do you.  Okay, so that doesn’t sound so funny after all.  But it is.  Picture this; we are down here on Earth, doing our thing, thinking we have everything figured out.  But when we look up, we see God smiling above us orchestrating every move we make.  Not only that but he is also giving directions to the stars, oceans, and animals at the same time.  God tell us in Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” And in Proverbs 16:9, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”   Straight from the Book of Wisdom.  We plan, we prepare, we direct, and we strategize.  We think we have everything organized and under “control”.  God smiles.  He knows our future, he authored it.  He knows our next move, he ordained it.

 Our sense of control over things in this life and on this Earth is simple vanity.  We want to be little gods over our little domain.  In James 4:16 God calls it “boasting in your arrogance.”  That’s why I say I’m a recovering control freak.  Once I realized how badly my flesh wanted to be in charge of everything, I recognized it as sin.  I don’t need to control things; God has everything already under control.  I shouldn’t get in his way by thinking it’s me getting things done right.  I need to surrender the reigns to him.  And honestly, what a relief that is!  I don’t have to direct my life, that’s God’s job.  I just have to trust in him and listen for his direction as I go.  I also have to stay out of his way and allow him to work in my husband’s and children’s hearts at well.  That’s good, because as hard as I tried I couldn’t fix them (yes, that’s a joke).  I just need to love them and encourage them to seek God’s will too.

Are you trying to control too much in your life? Give it up, girl! That’s no way to live. Let your husband wear the tacky shirt, people will know he dresses himself.  Let the kid squeeze the ketchup bottle the wrong way, he’ll learn character while he’s on the floor mopping it up.  Thank God for a husband who prays consistently.  Tator tots for breakfast? Maybe.