I see you. I see you coming in right as service starts. I see you sitting at the end of the row of chairs or towards the back, keeping your distance, staying wary. I see the hesitation of starting up conversations with those nearby. I see you… and I get it… but stop.
Stop thinking you are incomplete without a spouse next to you. Stop waiting for a human to fill some imagined gap that doesn’t exist. Stop thinking you are less beautiful to God than those around you. Stop.
This is your reminder today that if you are a single woman who has Christ as your savior, you are complete. Completely complete, lacking nothing. You are fully equipped to do the work God is calling you to right now at this moment. You are fully a part of the body of Christ and need to act as such. You are needed and you are extraordinarily valuable! Those of you with non-believing husbands listen up too, much of this will apply to you as well.
When God says through Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:17, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him,” there is no asterisk. There is no note at the bottom of the page saying that this applies only to the happily married and that singles (or the unequally yoked in marriage) should just hold back and wait. No, this verse tells us that the life you lead currently has been assigned to you by your masterful and purposeful Creator and you need to get to it. Your life is your calling from God.
The married are in no position of advantage when it comes to godly living. In this same chapter, 1 Corinthians 7:28, Paul encourages those who are able to stay unmarried to do so because, “those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.” Paul’s clearly states his purpose for this in verse 35, “I say this for your own benefit, not to lay restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” That is what all of us need to long for - undivided devotion to the Lord. Those who are single are in an especially good position to do this. Our God is a jealous God and he wants (and fully deserves) your complete attention and praise.
When seen in this light, this feels like a humbling and huge compliment from the Lord toward single women! He has decided not to share his attention from you with any man on earth. Think of the widow Anna, a prophetess who was there when Jesus came to be presented at the temple. She had full devotion to the Lord as she, “did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day.” Also think of Martha and Mary, single sisters who were close to Jesus and whose lives were interwoven into the gospels. They were witnesses to many of Christ’s greatest miracles and most awesome teachings.
Do not get being unmarried (or married to a non-believing husband) confused with being alone, I got that one wrong for years (see my blogs on loneliness). It wasn’t until I grasped that Christ completes me fully and not just partially that I was able to have my thinking corrected. Then I began to serve the Lord whole-heartedly. No longer waiting on a man to fill a gap that was never really there. I held onto the promise in Isaiah 54:5, “For your Maker is your husband.” He was the only one for me all along and he still is. He is the only one who makes me whole even while being married.
Single women, I want you to see your singlehood as a wise and gracious gift from the One who loves you most. That is exactly what it is, so take the time to praise him for it today. Don’t allow the enemy to tempt you into feelings that are contrary to this. Beautifully serve the Lord in the life he has called you to at this time. Women married to an unsaved spouse, pray earnestly for your husband to be redeemed by Christ, but don’t hold off on fully serving God and fulfilling your calling until he does, serve him now with all of your heart.
At the beginning of this blog I told you to stop…now I want you to start. Start to sit by me. Start to engage in the family that God has placed you in for your nourishment and to nourish those around you. Start to share your wisdom of God’s word with others who are desperate for it. Reach out for godly counsel when you need it. Start to participate in the lives of other women who are longing for friendship and a woman to talk with. Encourage, teach, help, serve, love, share. And in all these things praise God for making you completely his.