The Angry Woman in Our Homes

Women, we have a huge issue in our homes that we need to get serious about dealing with.  Like a hot -pink, fat elephant it sits in our house disturbing our marriages and our children.  It steals the peace we desire within our walls and within our souls.  We can deny it in public, but at home it is right there staring at us in the face, making everyone uncomfortable.  Time to talk about the elephant in the room…and then kick it out.

Our issue is anger.  Too many of us are angry women with short fuses and long memories.  We spend a lot of our time frustrated and hear ourselves yelling way. too. much.  Society has become accustomed to this lifestyle.  We have kitchen gadgets that clean our microwaves that we humorously call “Angry Mama”.  We joke about being a “Momster” when we get mad at our kids.  I hear myself saying, “You better stop, you don’t want to see mom angry!”  As if their actions are responsible for how I behave.  Do we really have reason to be so upset?

Knowing I planned to write this blog, I’ve been paying attention to all the things that make me angry throughout an average day.  Oh...my…I have so much to be angry about.  From lying tongues to broken promises to deaf ears to hurtful words - the obstacles stack up so high it seems too huge to conquer! 

This is often where our first mistake is made.  We women think that if we can fix the problem (usually a person) we won’t have to be angry anymore.  If I can just get my kids to hang up their wet towels instead of throwing them on the floor I won’t have to yell and remind them 36 times.  Does this really work?  No, not at all.  Fact is, as long as we live there will be an abundance of things to be angry about.  We need to quit looking at ways to fix this from the outside when we know full well it is an internal issue.

Let’s start taking our anger seriously and admit that it is wrong… okay let’s say it…it’s a SIN.  We know it is wrong because we feel it.  We women don’t want to be angry!  We hate the feeling it brings - during the rage and most certainly after.  We see the affects it has on those around us.  How many of you still remember the anger of a parent that was directed at you?  The intense flare of emotion often has a searing effect on those it is directed at.  Sin always hurts period.

Not all anger is sin, be sure you hear me on that, there is righteous anger.  We are not talking about that today and most of what we experience as women in our homes does not fall under that category, even if we think it does.  It is most likely ugly, self-righteousness.

These are the (fairly well known) verses God led me to this week (okay, so I didn’t just “happen” upon them, God smacked me with these verses as I read them to my boys), found in James 1:19-21, “Know this, my beloved brothers [and sisters]: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.  Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.”

Being told to be “slow to anger” is enough of a direct command for us to stop, but God graciously gives us the reasoning too - anger “does not produce the righteousness of God”.  It does not make us more holy, it does not sanctify us, it does not make us more like Jesus.  Anger is included under the categories of filth and wickedness that we should “put away”.  What should we do then?  “Receive with meekness the implanted word”.  What word is that?  The word that is “able to save” our souls – only God’s words save, specifically Jesus who is God’s word incarnate.  This word is “implanted” in us because it is part of who we are, we are God’s, he is in us.

Simply put, we need to turn from anger and humbly focus on God’s word that is within us.  When God’s word is abundant in our hearts and lives there is no place for anger.  Grace and mercy abound as well as patience and self-control.  I like the sound of a heart like that!  It is then that we begin to produce the righteousness of God that we desire.  These blessings (the fruit of the Holy Spirit within us) overflow onto those around us.  Talk about a turnaround in the condition of your home!   
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I won’t deny it, this will be difficult work.  Yet it is what God call us to, so he will provide the strength to do it as we trust in him and the power of his word.  Therefore consume it daily with meekness, it will transform your heart and your home.